{"id":42928,"date":"2026-02-01T12:29:48","date_gmt":"2026-02-01T10:29:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/?p=42928"},"modified":"2026-02-01T12:29:48","modified_gmt":"2026-02-01T10:29:48","slug":"the-final-station-of-apology-with-the-gate-of-hope-left-open","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/?p=42928","title":{"rendered":"The Final Station of Apology.. With the Gate of Hope Left Open"},"content":{"rendered":"

Poetry: Ashraf AboArafe<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I did not love you<\/p>\n

as people love people,<\/p>\n

but as a seeker loves a station\u2014<\/p>\n

knowing it,<\/p>\n

yet never reaching it.<\/p>\n

I came to you<\/p>\n

not as desire,<\/p>\n

not as promise,<\/p>\n

not as a hand reaching out,<\/p>\n

but as a broken soul<\/p>\n

that knows the way to God<\/p>\n

when the world goes astray.<\/p>\n

I loved you<\/p>\n

because you were meaning<\/p>\n

when language failed me,<\/p>\n

and calm<\/p>\n

when life became<\/p>\n

an exam with no answers.<\/p>\n

In you<\/p>\n

I learned that piety<\/p>\n

is not fear but modesty,<\/p>\n

that goodness<\/p>\n

is not an act but a nature,<\/p>\n

and that selflessness<\/p>\n

is a silent bleeding<\/p>\n

seen only by God.<\/p>\n

You were courage<\/p>\n

that did not shout,<\/p>\n

and a nobility<\/p>\n

that unsettled me\u2014<\/p>\n

for I was never<\/p>\n

as pure<\/p>\n

as you.<\/p>\n

I confess\u2026<\/p>\n

I saw you<\/p>\n

and arranged my defeat.<\/p>\n

I heard the call to prayer,<\/p>\n

and you preceded the supplication.<\/p>\n

I reached dawn<\/p>\n

and found you<\/p>\n

closer than my own name.<\/p>\n

Fourteen years<\/p>\n

I carried this secret<\/p>\n

like a verse<\/p>\n

I was not permitted to recite.<\/p>\n

Every news of you<\/p>\n

was a renewed test<\/p>\n

of patience.<\/p>\n

I searched for you<\/p>\n

in women<\/p>\n

and found only your echo.<\/p>\n

I searched within myself<\/p>\n

and found only my weakness.<\/p>\n

I am the one<\/p>\n

who crossed sixty,<\/p>\n

still learning<\/p>\n

how to stop the heart<\/p>\n

from hoping\u2014<\/p>\n

only for it<\/p>\n

to beat again.<\/p>\n

I sought no ruin,<\/p>\n

no temptation,<\/p>\n

no theft of peace.<\/p>\n

I only wished<\/p>\n

to say to the dream:<\/p>\n

I saw you.<\/p>\n

When I tried to sever,<\/p>\n

my soul bled.<\/p>\n

When I tried to forget,<\/p>\n

the heart shattered.<\/p>\n

Nothing remained<\/p>\n

but this pain<\/p>\n

that performs ablution<\/p>\n

and prays.<\/p>\n

I do not ask you of this world\u2014<\/p>\n

the world is too small<\/p>\n

for a heart that has known you.<\/p>\n

Nor do I contend with a decree<\/p>\n

God wrote<\/p>\n

without my name.<\/p>\n

I only hang my love<\/p>\n

on the gate of heaven<\/p>\n

and say:<\/p>\n

O Lord\u2026<\/p>\n

if she was not my share on earth,<\/p>\n

then make her<\/p>\n

my tranquility in Paradise.<\/p>\n

Let her pass by me there<\/p>\n

without fear,<\/p>\n

without reckoning,<\/p>\n

without apology.<\/p>\n

Let me see her<\/p>\n

as she was created,<\/p>\n

before days exhausted her,<\/p>\n

before I learned patience.<\/p>\n

If this love is a sin,<\/p>\n

then I repent of it<\/p>\n

to You.<\/p>\n

And if it is a secret,<\/p>\n

You know best<\/p>\n

what hearts conceal.<\/p>\n

I did not abandon her,<\/p>\n

nor can I.<\/p>\n

Her love will remain<\/p>\n

until death,<\/p>\n

and rise with me<\/p>\n

as a prayer<\/p>\n

that never dies.<\/p>\n

Forgive me\u2026<\/p>\n

I did not betray you.<\/p>\n

I only loved you<\/p>\n

in the form of hope.<\/p>\n

And to the keeper of the garden\u2014<\/p>\n

I raise my hands,<\/p>\n

not in apology<\/p>\n

but in surrender,<\/p>\n

and leave judgment<\/p>\n

to God.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Poetry: Ashraf AboArafe     I did not love you as people love people, but as a seeker loves a station\u2014 knowing it, yet never reaching it. I came to you not as desire, not as promise, not as a hand reaching out, but as a broken soul that knows the way to God when …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":42929,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,388],"tags":[22765,7561,11643,6438,22764,15648,22766],"class_list":["post-42928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chief-editor","category-slide","tag-apology","tag-hope","tag-left","tag-open","tag-station-of","tag-the-final","tag-with-the-gate-of"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42928","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42928"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42928\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42930,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42928\/revisions\/42930"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/42929"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42928"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=42928"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.aldiplomasy.com\/en\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=42928"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}